#rca

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life. ↗

— Chris Colfer

#humor #sarcasm #humor

I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humorous-comebacks #inflation #sarcasm #seller #humor

I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said the last word. “That! That is what I am talking about. Since we ran into the others you have been cold and more arrogant than usual.” She kept her voice low so the others would not hear. “Is that so? I would say I was averagely arrogant ↗

— B.C. Morin

#sarcasm #sarcasm-humor #humor

One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #sarcastic-humor #satire #humor

Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #orgy #sarcasm #humor

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right...you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean ↗

— Jeff Mariotte

#humor #sarcasm #science-fiction #humor

Does the Pope love Jesus? ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#humor

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#sarcasm #humor

Come on," Alec said, already stomping down the ramp. "Let's find us a squirrel." He swept the weapon back and forth as he walked, looking for any interlopers. "Or better yet, one of the crazies who might've strayed over here. Too bad these things have to be charged or we could get rid of this virus problem in a jiffy. Sweep these old neighborhoods nice and clean." Mark joined him on the ground below the Berg, wary that someone might be watching from the ruined homes surrounding them or from the burnt woods beyond those. "Your value of human life brings tears to my eyes," he muttered. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor