#rca

What about you? What do you do?” I needed to ask questions, draw him out. I needed to find out all the information I could. My voice sounded strong and smooth, but my hands were shaking. I put them in my lap so he couldn’t see. “I prey on innocent villagers and terrify their children,” he said with a nasty smile. “And sometimes when I’m feeling really evil, I read books or paint. ↗

— Kate Avery Ellison

#curious #funny #kate-avery-ellison #sarcasm #the-curse-girl

He paused at the bedroom door, shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked right out like it was any other morning, and he and Jack would be having breakfast as if they hadn't had sex the night before. "Morning," he said, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. "Mmm," D grunted. "You done in the bathroom?" D blinked. No, I jus' took a little breather in the middle a my mornin' beauty ritual ta come out here 'n' chat with ya. A course I'm done. ↗

— Jane Seville

#jane-seville #sarcasm #beauty

I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#sarcasm #beauty

He'd been given an assignment to write about teen beauty pageants [...], which he'd accepted because he enjoyed blood sports as much as the next person. ↗

— David Baldacci

#ambition #beauty-pageants #ruthlessness #sarcasm #satire

What am I doing here? The Southern Star has vanished, a Cataclyst is calling the moon out of time at the mythical Great Barrier, and you're asking what I'm doing here? Are you serious? ↗

— Kami Garcia

#sarcasm #beauty

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful boutique, the name filled me with dread. ↗

— Jessica Fortunato

#sarcasm #wordplay #work #beauty

Why were you lurking under our window?" "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?" "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. "Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #news #sarcasm #change

Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore." Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, "Eek. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #johnnie-marcone #sarcasm #change

There is no "slippery slope" toward loss of liberties, only a long staircase where each step downward must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders. ↗

— Alan K. Simpson

#american people #downward #each #first #leaders

Your cell phone is on the nightstand. Call me immediately if something changes. I don’t care if you are merely dizzy or if you start seeing pink dragons, do you understand?” I solemnly swear I will call you the second a pink dragon shows up. ↗

— Jessica Fortunato

#sarcasm #change