#resident

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #debate #during #each #edwards

In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#alzheimer #backed #brain #bush #cell

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #changed #difference #hasn #his

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#book #bush #clinton #deal #get

The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#army #asked #bidding #cheney #competitive

I think the actions of the president are, in my opinion, the most vile and hateful words ever spoken by a sitting president. I am stunned and I'm horrified. ↗

— Rosie O'Donnell

#am #ever #hateful #horrified #i

The equality that we are all entitled to, as citizens of this democracy, can't be avoided by some religious dogma of a President who's is supposed to believe in the notion of separation of church and state. And he frankly doesn't. ↗

— Rosie O'Donnell

#believe #church #citizens #democracy #dogma

I used some vivid language that, if I could take it back, I'd take it back. It's not my intention to be personally critical of the President or of anyone else. ↗

— Paul O'Neill

#back #could #critical #else #i

This meeting was like many of the meetings that I would go to over the course of two years. The only way I can describe it is that, well, the president is like a blind man in a roomful of deaf people. There is no discernible connection. ↗

— Paul O'Neill

#blind man #connection #course #deaf #deaf people

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#assassinate #brief #character #death #election