#ria

Finding a life partner is like choosing a bed. You need one as a friend either in times of health or sickness. Freshness or weariness. Happiness or sadness. And we can be certain that we've picked the right one without having to sleep with it first. ↗

— Isman H. Suryaman

#marriage #humor

What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have passed. "Honestly?" "Does now seem like the time for honesty?" I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#guilty #humor #naps #trial #humor

I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again. So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance. I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me. I didn’t dignify that with a response. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#aftermath #freaking-out #hickey #humor #kisses

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ↗

— Anne Taylor Fleming

#love #marriage #work #love

My mother is convinced that yellow is a happy color and that a happy girl would get a husband. -Penelope Featherington ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #marriage #humor

Look, Sage. I don't know much about chemistry or computer hacking or photosynthery, but this is something I've got a lot of experience with." I think he mean photosynthesis, but I didn't correct him. "Use my knowledge. Don't let it go to waste. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #smart #sydney-sage #experience

Rose took my nose, I suppose,” he repeated; the bubble of phlegm in his throat made a disgusting crackle. “And it really blows. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #humour #rose-took-my-nose #the-scorch-trials #humor

Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #librarians #humor

Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians--except for the occasional mountain lion steak. ↗