#ridiculous

Don''t headbutt the sun, idiot. ↗

— Wheezywaiter

#obvious #ridiculous #humor

Dear Ford, I think my Ford Explorer door is broken. It just won’t close. I think this is because I don’t have the rest of the Explorer, I only have the door. It’s a passenger-side door, and I bought it from a passenger. Also, it doesn’t seem to be able to lock. I think the latch isn’t catching, or something. I think it’s missing some crucial parts, and I’d like to order them from you. I need: one frame, four wheels, a body, another door, an engine, a steering wheel, and some of those air fresheners that you stick in the vents. And I’m feeling frisky with my money, so let me go ahead and order some brakes while I’m at it. You can send the bill to the Pizza Hut on San Jose Boulevard. They’ll just deliver it to me, along with the pizza I just ordered. Thank you, Jarod Kintz ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#e-mail #ford #funny #humor #ridiculous

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the fount of all virtue. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#ignorance #ridiculous #sucking-up #simplicity

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cherry #knot #nonsense #ridiculous

We confess our bad qualities to others out of fear of appearing naive or ridiculous by not being aware of them. ↗

— Gerald Brenan

#aware #bad #being #confess #fear

I hope I never get so hard up I have to do advertisements. I've gotten ridiculous offers. ↗

— Tracey Ullman

#gotten #hard #hope #i #never

I made a series of wrong decisions about moderately recent books, and I've sold the rights to studios for ridiculous amounts of money and the films have never been made. That's the saddest thing of all, because they're locked up and no one else can make them. ↗

— John le Carre

#because #been #books #decisions #else

That is where the irony of the film comes off, in terms of the language it employs - where he tries desperately to be a 'TV Dad,' to give advice and it's so pat it becomes ridiculous. ↗

— Atom Egoyan

#becomes #comes #dad #desperately #employs

It's a bit ridiculous to have people who have two years of experience handling an $83 billion budget. ↗

— Mike Thompson

#bit #budget #experience #handling #people

Look, we are a rock group. But you should see all those things in perspective. People tend to blow up everything into ridiculous proportions. And then the fun is gone real soon. ↗

— Donnie Wahlberg

#everything #fun #gone #group #into