#rob

When you are thirteen, you spend all your time imagining what it would be like to live in a world where you could pay a robot for sex. And that sex would cost a dollar. And the only obstacle to getting that sex would be making sure you had four quarters. Then you grow up and it turns out you do live in that kind of world. A world with coin-operated sexbots. And it's not really as great as you thought it would be. ↗

— Charles Yu

#sex #imagination

According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free. ↗

— Josh Lieb

#robot #funny

Not saving you from this storm, mutant,” he said. “Saving you for your later fate, we are.” His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine. “Oh, good. Yoda captured us,” Fang whispered. ↗

— James Patterson

#lol #machine #mutant #robot #star-wars

Get back to work, he would tell himself sternly. There's a garuda to get airborne. ↗

— China Miéville

#practical-applications #practice #problem-solving #procrastination #theory

Everybody sins, Francis. The terrible thing is that we love our sins. We love the thing that makes us evil. ↗

— Robert Cormier

#heroes #humanity #love #psychology #robert-cormier

And Robespierre, the Incorruptible, who loved us so much he cut off our heads so we would not be troubled by too many thoughts ↗

— Jennifer Donnelly

#robespierre #love

Are you sure you can't dematerialize? Not even a little?" "I'm sure. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#human-problems #funny

We already have the Wooden Pillar, the Steel Pillar and the Plastic Pillar. In a moment we will have the Golden Bail....' No, you won't.' We will,' stated the robot simply. No, you won't. It makes my ship work.' In a moment,' repeated the robot patiently, 'we will have the Golden Bail....' You will not,' said Zaphod. And then we must go,' said the robot, in all seriousness, 'to a party.' Oh,' said Zaphod, startled, 'can I come?' No,' said the robot, 'we are going to shoot you.' Oh, yeah?' said Zaphod, waggling his gun. Yes,' said the robot, and they shot him. Zaphod was so surprised that they had to shoot him again before he fell down. (85-86) ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #robot #funny

You're a big boy, No. You'll figure something out. Just make sure it includes the groveling." -Abby It come to all of us. Especially those of us foolish enough to fall in love with women who have minds of their own. If you will recall, your own sister had a few things she had to forgive me for before we could move on with our relationship." -Rule There's a big difference between a little kidnapping and what he did." -Abby "You did not call it a 'little' anything at the time, sweet. You were furious with me. Believe me, the groveling does do wonders." -Rule ↗

— Christine Warren

#realtionship-problems #forgiveness

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But I am one of many.” “Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. “One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out. “Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up! ↗

— James Patterson

#bombs #fight #flying #funny #lol