#ron

This was a vagrant of sixty-five, who was going to prison for not playing the flute; or, in other words, for begging in the streets, and doing noting for his livelihood. In the next cell, was another man, who was going to the same prison for hawking tin saucepans without a licence; thereby doing something for his living, in defiance of the Stamp-office. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#irony #humor

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is. ↗

— B.J. Neblett

#irony #laughter #sarcasm #satirical #humor

Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #kane #kane-chronicles #romance #sadie

Oh, I know. They’re dwarfs pretending to be elves. No, they’re not dwarfs either. Okay, okay, they’re “little people,” I’m sorry! Can’t believe I have to be politically correct when you’re the only one who can hear me. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#dog #humor #oberon #humor

It was Will, filling the doorway with his lanky, broad-shouldred frame. His blue eyes where thunderous. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. So much for the brief peace they had achieved the night before. "I am practicing," Cecily said. "You told me I would get no better without practice." "Not you. Gabriel Lightworm over here." Will jerked his chin toward the other boy. "Sorry. Lightwood. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#gabriel-lightwood #humor #will-herondale #humor

Cleavage is great," she said. "Like an extra pocket. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #kelley-armstrong #rae #humor

I adore Wilkie Collins,” Tessa cried. “Oh—Armadale! And The Woman in White … Are you laughing at me?” “Not at you,” said Will, grinning, “more because of you. I’ve never seen anyone get so excited over books before. You’d think they were diamonds.” “Well, they are, aren’t they? Isn’t there anything you love like that? And don’t say ‘spats’ or ‘lawn tennis’ or something silly.” “Good Lord,” he said with mock horror, “it’s like she knows me already. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

What would a racist call werewolves? Wargs? She kind of liked that one, but suspected that racist bastards didn't read Tolkien. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#irony #racism #tolkien #werewolves #humor

The memory burned like bile in my stomach, and I closed my eyes, wishing it didn't have to be this way. I loved Puck like a brother and a best friend. And yet, during a very dark period when I was confused and lonely and hurt, my affection for him had led me to do something stupid, something I shouldn't have done. I knew he loved me, and the fact that I'd taken advantage of his feelings made me disgusted with myself. I wished I knew how to fix it, but the barely concealed pain in Puck's eyes told me no amount of words would make it better. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#meghan #puck #the-iron-queen #love

...In Paris she found Magnus, who was living in a garret apartment and paiting, an occupation for which he had no aptitude whatsoever. He let her sleep on a mattress by the window, and in the night, when she woke up screaming for Will, he came and put his arms around her, smelling of turpentine. "The first one is always the hardest," he said. "The first?" "The first one you love who dies," he said. "It gets easier, after. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clockwork-princess #magnus-bane #tessa-gray #will-herondale #love