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So this was where lust was satisfied. If I'd been an old-time miner I'd have asked for my gold nugget back. ↗


— Ava Gardner


#brothels #disappointment #humor #humor

Seedy wasn't a fair description for the place, because seeds imply eventual regrowth and renewal. ↗


— Jim Butcher


#humorous #humor

He sucked his lips in an attempt not to laugh. "Aren't you Spanish?" She raised one arm in a salute. "Viva la Queen Isabella!" "I see. Then why are you speaking with a French accent? ↗


— Julia Quinn


#humor #humor

It is a curious fact that small boys are more terrified of their babysitters than small girls are. In part, this is because small girls and babysitters, who are usually slightly larger girls, belong to the same species, and therefore understand each other. Small boys, on the other hand, do not understand girls, and therefore being looked after by one is a little like a hamster being looked after by a shark. If you are a small boy, it may be some consolation to you to know that even large boys do not understand girls, and girls, by and large, do not understand boys. This makes adult life very interesting. ↗


— John Connolly


#children #humorous #humor

That's all you've got for me?" I drew a long breath and let it out slowly. "You know. I might be able to get more clues from Google. ↗


— Jayde Scott


#humor #inspirational #humor

How do you kill something that's already dead? Nobody knows enough about them. Ask Jason. He'll have an opinion. Wait a moment. Rachel could see Corinne talking to Jason, but they were too far ahead to hear. He says you chop them up into little pieces. But what if that infects you with the disease? Jason leaned closer to answer Corinne quietly. She laughed. You let Nollin do it. ↗


— Brandon Mull


#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

A girl got a nosebleed, so I gave her a tampon and warned her about the responsibilities of womanhood. “You’re going to get a lot of guys trying to stick things up there,” I said. Now she’s a mouth breather. ↗


— Bauvard


#humor #menstrual-cycles #nosebleeds #womanhood #funny

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think. ↗


— Edgar Johnson


#satire #thinking #humor

When he overheard the boys whispering that he was a queer, he said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world’s great men had been homosexual. Alas, I’ve been sentenced to a life mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope that a few of you will be more fortunate. ↗


— Susan Elizabeth Phillips


#inspirational #humor

Out here, it's better safe than sorry, because generally speaking, too much of the time sorry means you're dead. ↗


— Patricia C. Wrede


#humor #proverbs #safe #sorry #humor






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