#s

I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

What you perceive as a failure today may actually be a crucial step towards the success you seek. Never give up. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#drive #failure #perseverance #richelle #richelle-goodrich

I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

People can be so emotionally unintelligent. When I ask them how they’re doing they just make brusque comments like “I’m good, thanks.” After years of trying to get cashiers to talk about their feelings and having to deal with the bottled-up aggression of the customers behind me, I’ve lost all faith in humanity’s ability to connect with each other at the checkout counter. ↗

— Bauvard

#cashiers #funny #humor #faith

A brick on a stick could be licked like a lollipop.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Of course it hurts, it’s a spanking. How else would it work? ↗

— Breanna Hayse

#bdsm-daddy #erotic-romance #erotica #funny #kink

The most important thing to remember is that the safe word is for the client; you bring mace. ↗

— Isa K.

#funny #humor #safe-words #funny

There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corrupt #corruption #country #funny #humor

She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny. ↗

— Elizabeth Gaskell

#funny-and-random #mothers #names #sobriquet #sons

Dalai Lama: an oriental pope who sells his followers indulgences that take effect after ten thousand lifetimes. ↗

— Bauvard

#dalai-lama #funny #humor #funny