#s

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#attack #bear #camp #camping #funny

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#its-kind-of-a-funny-story #ned-vizinni #funny

So furiously each other did assayle, As if their soules they would attonce haue rent Out of their brests, that streames of bloud did rayle Adowne, as if their springes of life were spent; That all the ground with purple bloud was sprent, And all their armours staynd with bloudie gore, Yet scarcely once to breath would they relent, So mortall was their malice and so sore, Become of fayned friendship which they vow'd afore. ↗

— Edmund Spenser

#friendship #malice #friendship

We're clear," she said. "You're kind of a psycho. I get that ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #morganville-vampires #funny

What If I still want to go?" "Then you'll go," he said. "But I wanted you to know the danger." "There's always danger." His green eyes met mine. I was starting to see It, how It could happen-Caleb and me. ↗

— Anna Carey

#friendship #love #sci-fi #teen-fiction #friendship

Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?" "No! Good God, no! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#cam #code-word #cookie #cookies #funny

What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods ↗

— Amber Kizer

#funny #meridian #mrs-fulbright #funny

Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late. ↗

— Bryan Davis

#blunt #comical #funny #harsh #irony

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month? ↗

— Simon Holt

#quinn #simon-holt #soulstice #funny

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding ↗

— Elvis Costello

#funny