#sai

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#cheese #french #frog #get #got

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#firm #house #i #local #outside

I signed contracts I didn't think were a good idea but people around me said it was the way forward. It saddens me that I'll never own my first album ever, which sucks. ↗

— Julian Cope

#around #contracts #ever #first #forward

From the sea came a boat with some Israeli commando soldiers who took me by the commando boat to the yacht and put me on the yacht. In the yacht I asked people, who are you. And they said we are Israelis, French and British. ↗

— Mordechai Vanunu

#boat #british #came #french #i

Henry Fonda one time said that every time he had a job, he thought it was gonna' be the last one. And, if you got any sense, you gotta' think that because, you know when somebody's gonna do a dip, some of 'em go pretty far down. ↗

— Barry Corbin

#because #dip #down #every #every time

As the evening progressed, Scott said that he was looking forward to settling down, but that he hadn't yet found the right person. The way he looked at me when he said that made me feel he might be wondering whether I was that person. ↗

— Amber Frey

#evening #feel #forward #found #hadn

I apologize if anybody was offended by anything I said. ↗

— Jerome Corsi

#anything #apologize #i #offended #said

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#children #die #five #give #hope

I wish I had said 'some athletes here are competing unfairly.' It was my opinion, never an accusation. ↗

— Bob Costas

#athletes #competing #had #here #i

At one point my dad called me and said, 'You have always been a great salesman. I think it's time you come home and sell swimming pools.' ↗

— Courteney Cox

#been #called #come #dad #great