#sex

Montana was naked, and so was Billy, of course. He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who'll get one. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#sex #humor

You're not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you don't. I'm trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me about Dean Robillard." She wouldn't let him off that easily. "You're looking for a wife. Maybe I'm just looking for a little fun." "If you need fun," he shot back, 'I'll give you fun." She was stunned. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#sexy #humor

Lowkey punchdrunk off this Sangria-sweet love and all it’s prodigious trappings… ↗

— Brandi L. Bates

#drugs #humor #love #sex #humor

I have sex," Grace shrugged. I meant with a man," Claudia said dryly. Now why would I ruin something so good by inviting a man along?" Grace asked. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#sex #humor

If you lie there much longer, I’ll be tempted to tie you to the table legs and try buttering your ass instead of the toast. ↗

— Cari Silverwood

#humor #sexy #humor

MORGAN: Help me out here. THEO: What's up? MORGAN: Don't make me spell it out, Theo. THEO: Oh. MORGAN:Just talk dirty for a while. THEO: Blue-sky thinking. Thought shower. Full spectrum leadership. MORGAN: NOT corporate dirty. Sex dirty. THEO: I wouldn't know where to start. ↗

— Con Riley

#humor #humor

As Jack began to climb the stairs, Fiona looked up at her new home. Five stories of stately mansion rose above her head. Heavy molding around the large windows and doors bespoke a quality and craftsmanship that was obvious even in the dim night. “Good God! It’s massive!” Jack paused with his foot on the last step. “I do wish you’d keep those comments until we are in bed, love. I would appreciate them all the more there. ↗

— Karen Hawkins

#sexual-innuendos #humor

You know, there are several gay men on the faculty. Professor Montag makes jelly beans look colorless(...) ↗

— Tara Lain

#gender-stereotypes #homosexuality #humorous #humor

Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples; in others, sex laws. ↗

— Karl Kraus

#humor #sex #humor

The man kisses me and I just hop right on him like he's the hottest new ride at Disneyland. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #love #sex #humor