#ships

I had a dream about you. You were naked, and you had the body of a mannequin, with the face of a politician. And as I gazed at you, I couldn’t tell which of the two was more phony—the real fake of your body, or the fake real of your face.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You glued a fake beard on a mannequin and had it running a monetary printing press nonstop, and you planned on creating dollar bills forever, or until you devalued it to the point where savings were destroyed, lives devastated, and you continued laughing all the way to the bank, which you owned.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughed at my nakedness, and you sold me to the owner of a sex shop. 
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You told me you loved me, and then you stabbed me with a spoon. Luckily, moments before your attack, I assumed the identity of a bowl of Jell-O. Later on in the dream, as a half-eaten bowl of Jell-O, I launched a successful political campaign, got elected, and moved to Washington DC.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the other. I couldn’t decide which one to use, so I stood on the stool and threw myself on the sword. It was the least I could do to protest capital punishment. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You don’t need to thank me for taking you into consideration. But I do expect you to return the favor. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our words. You were eating words like “Winner,” “Victory,” and Triumphant,” while I was eating words like “Macaroni,” “Pizza,” and “Meatloaf.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. I left for the country club, you the mountain top, knowing that at our reunion one would fall. When golf clubs fence with skis, both summer and winter are painted red. In the contact sports of the wealthy, the seasons are no longer impersonal forces. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships