#ships

Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said. Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

Vin: I don't know -- and it's all your fault, you know. I used to understand everything. Now it's all confused. Kelsier: Yes, we've messed you up right properly. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Wearing a condom is like eating an icecream cone with a sock on your tongue. ↗

— Mark Gungor

#relationships #humor

For someone who is supposed to be a knight in shining armor, you're acting like an ass in aluminum foil. ↗

— Lisa Logue

#love #relationships #humor

Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure? ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Men are men, mortal or not. ↗

— K.C. Randall

#humor-relationships #humor

Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire. ↗

— Danielle Sibarium

#safety #humor

What's your favorite movie?...that should be our question. When we don't know what to say. Movies are a safe topic. What's wrong with the standard 'how's it going?' because all you get is 'Okay' or 'Fine', and then what? You're back where you started. It's a useless question. Like anyone is going to tell you how it's really going. ↗

— Lisa Schroeder

#humor

Love goes together with acceptance ↗

— Dillis Tembo

#humor

It is possible to compromise in certain areas when choosing a partner for life, but never on a cravat. ↗

— Amanda Grange

#relationships #romance #humor