#si

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#depressing #get #good #how #i

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#cause #down #i #know #necklace

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#disillusion #go #here #i #i am

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#blackjack #gambling #i #like #play

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#because #bought #caring #got #i

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#blackjack #circle #gambling #i #i love

I relate to most of the characters I play, because I do feel like an outsider. ↗

— Jon Heder

#characters #feel #i #i do #like

When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse. ↗

— Jon Heder

#bad #cried #day #feel #feels

Because of 'The Birds' and 'Marnie' I was, as the expression goes, hot in Hollywood and producers and directors wanted to hire me. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#birds #directors #expression #goes #hire

Being the object of Alfred Hitchcock's obsession was horrific, but while he ruined my career, he could never ruin my life. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#being #career #could #hitchcock #horrific