#sm

What's wrong with you? I asked myself. You are a happy person. You are an upbeat sort of person. Men smile at you on the subway, women ask you what shampoo you use. Cheer up for Christ's sake, I told myself, relax, you're fine, be happy, Girl. When I talk to myself I call myself Girl. ↗

— Jennifer Belle

#humor #optimism #humor

The Reformer is always right about what's wrong. However, he's often wrong about what is right. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#christianity #humor #protestantism #reformation #religion

But they're already singing our praises!" "They are Americans. They toot their horns for anything. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#enthusiasm #humor #humor

Not that I knew who you were until last month. But now that I've got you, I'm not letting you go." "You're not?" Blake stared at her in irritated confusion. What was her game? "Do you think I'm an idiot?" he spat out. "No," she said. "I've just escaped from a den of idiots, so I'm well familiar with the breed, and you're something else entirely. I am, however, hoping you're not a terribly good shot. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#idiocy #romance #sarcasm #humor

It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore ↗

— L.J. Smith

#damon-salvatore #diaries #elena #elena-gilbert #gilbert

Kishan stretched out his hand and touched and earring lightly. His rakish pirate about-to-make-off-with-your-woman-and-what-do-you-think-you're-gonna-do-about-it look melted away to a soft smile that turned up the corner of his mouth. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#sarcasm #humor

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it. ↗

— Lewis Grizzard

#drinking #humor #humor

I'm working from the assumption it's going to go horribly wrong. If we get out of here with limbs intact and no aspen slivers in uncomfortable places, we're calling it a win." Merit/Jonah ↗

— Chloe Neill

#sarcasm #humor

You are a sick, sick man,” I told him. “Thank you,” Ben replied, looking modest. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #sarcasm #silver-borne #humor

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows