#sm

Kill me if I ever look that Bad" . . . "Dude, what are you saying? . . . On the TV? That is you, dude. From like five years ago. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#narcissism #humor

Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair. ↗

— B.C. Morin

#sarcasm #humor

Glasses are for people that sips instead of drinks. ↗

— Kai Starr

#drinking #humor #humor

What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. “What about your parents?” “I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#interrogation #sarcasm #humor

How touching. I think I'm gonna throw up. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sarcasm-humor #humor

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt? ↗

— Daniel Marks

#humorous-quotations #sarcasm #humor

It is perhaps beside the point to remark that bowling alleys and supermarkets have nursery facilities, while schools and colleges and scientific laboratories and government offices do not. ↗

— Betty Friedan

#wry-humor #humor

Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism? ↗

— C.D. Payne

#humor #optimism #sex #teens #humor

That’s sad. How plastic and artificial life has become. It gets harder and harder to find something…real.” Nin interlocked his fingers, and stretched out his arms. “Real love, real friends, real body parts… ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#cyberpunk #materialism #meaning #plastic-surgery #reality

Don't believe those lies about intellectual people. They're only written to soothe the majority. ↗

— E.M. Forster

#humor #intellectualism #humor