#snake

If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday. I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?' ↗

— Dane Cook

#every #every time #i #i always #me

I'm not about to go out and buy a snake for a pet. I mean, I may have faced a few fears but I'm not insane. ↗

— Kristin Davis

#buy #faced #fears #few #go

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. ↗

— W. C. Fields

#bottle #case #handy #i #i see

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. ↗

— Leonardo da Vinci

#hand #hope #into #like #marriage

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance. ↗

— Robin Williams

#i #snakes #well

Roger became a part of me, and when he went off the deep end and became a mad snake, I felt sorry for him. ↗

— Michael Zaslow

#deep #deep end #end #felt #him