#so

He was a gentle and sensitive soul, and therefore had a short temper, which is why he went straight after everything with an ax... ↗

— Bohumil Hrabal

#humor #love #lovers #sensitive #soul

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow. ↗

— Mark Twain

#mark-twain #sorrow #humor

[Eric:] "I'm hoping that the more you see me, the more I'll grow on you." [Sookie:] "Like a fungus? ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #sookie-eric #sookie-stackhouse #humor

It's impossible to walk through solid rock... You have to walk between the molecules that make up the rock. ↗

— J.M. Dattilo

#humor #life #philosophy #reality #science-fiction

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer ↗

— Bill Hicks

#media-journalism #society #thinking #humor

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance? Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept. ↗

— Toba Beta

#humor #lost-then-found #philosophy #second-chance #humor

I've barely said five words to you. What indication could you possibly have that I am a Yankee?" "Well, we could start with the words 'what indication.' Someone from south of the Mason-Dixon would have said, 'Who the hell are you calling a Yankee?' Then we would have fought. ↗

— Jana Deleon

#south #yankee #humor

George had taken off all ten of his fingers and tied them into a bundle with what appeared to be either his own small intestines, or a guitar string; as I walked into the room, he lovingly placed the bundle on his head. ↗

— Alan Goldsher

#george-harrison #humor #humor

If everyone wants to be somebody, I want to be somebody else ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #humor

Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. Well, this week. Last week her hair was dyed blonde, and she had blue eyes. Or maybe that was a different woman. I don’t know. All I know is that she is my soul mate.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blue-eyes #green-eyes #love #red-hair #soul-mate