#so

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson ↗

— Matt Groening

#homer-simpson #humor #matt-groening #simpons #humor

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humour #life #philosophy #wisdom #wisdom-quote

We're on a planet, relax! ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#philosophy #wisdom #humor

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway. ↗

— Solange nicole

#humor #life-lessons #philosophy #solange #funny

The Theist tells us that the truth is god exists, the Atheist tells us that the truth is there is no god, while the truth tells us we don't know. ↗

— Kodai Okuda

#knowledge #philosophy #religion #science #wisdom

It's very good of you--" "No, no, not at all. It's my hobby. Not proposing to people, I don't mean, but investigating things. Well, cheer-frightfully-ho and all that. And I'll call again, if I may." "I will give the footman orders to admit you," said the prisoner, gravely, "you will always find me at home. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#gallows-humor #prisoner #proposal #humor

If ever there was something she needed to stick around and fight for, Luc was that something. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance #see-jane-score #humor

Everything is, the way it is, for a reason. Or it isn't. Or neither. Or both. It's so hard to tell. It's so hard to tell you're a mile away by the Luke in your eye. ↗

— Alistair McHarg

#humor #manic-depresion #recovery #word-association #humor

Being trapped thus is incredibly frustrating for me, and occasionally I take it out on others. Again, I apologize. Now, if you’d like, I can help you with what you’re seeking.” Knowing I’d probably regret it, I crossed the room and yanked the canvas off the mirror. As before, he was sitting on the table, smirking at me. “Jackass, jackass on the wall, where’s the info on Hex Hall? ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #sophie-mercer #spell-bound #humor

Coffee or orange juice?” “Water is fine.” His eyebrows went up. “Uh-oh,” Auriele said, but she was smiling. Darryl was not. “Are you implying that my coffee is not the best in four counties? Or my fresh-squeezed orange juice is less than perfect? ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#breakfast #darryl #humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne