#soda

A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work.
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— Jarod Kintz

#drunk #environment #fuel #gas #gasoline

It's filled with... baking soda. Because it really smells. ↗

— Kate O'Brien

#because #filled #really #smells #soda

He was chugging brown pop from a can Jack had handed him while he stuffed nacho cheese Doritos in his face. I was glad to see he looked lots better, almost completely like himself, which proves Doritos and brown pop really are health foods. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#food #humor #soda #food

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruction instead of soda, would you grab an extra large cup? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#destroy #destruction #destructive #fountain-machine #grab