#surreal

As beautiful as the chance encounter of a sewing machine and an umbrella on an operating table. ↗

— Comte de Lautréamont

#beauty

A blanket could be used to separate the winners from the losers. With the exception of me, all men are losers, and only the winners are allowed under the blanket. Sorry, fellas, but there is nothing I can do about the situation. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Dear Ford, I think my Ford Explorer door is broken. It just won’t close. I think this is because I don’t have the rest of the Explorer, I only have the door. It’s a passenger-side door, and I bought it from a passenger. Also, it doesn’t seem to be able to lock. I think the latch isn’t catching, or something. I think it’s missing some crucial parts, and I’d like to order them from you. I need: one frame, four wheels, a body, another door, an engine, a steering wheel, and some of those air fresheners that you stick in the vents. And I’m feeling frisky with my money, so let me go ahead and order some brakes while I’m at it. You can send the bill to the Pizza Hut on San Jose Boulevard. They’ll just deliver it to me, along with the pizza I just ordered. Thank you, Jarod Kintz ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#e-mail #ford #funny #humor #ridiculous

An immense body, encircling my delirium, a body made of wind and sunlight, crouching and stretching, encompassed the existence of the slightest human echo. ↗

— Joë Bousquet

#echo #surrealism #surreal

What is admirable about the fantastic is that there is no longer anything fantastic: there is only the real. ↗

— André Breton

#fantastique #fantasy #surrealism #surreal

Now the night's breath responds to the sea, which I can scarcely hear from here, as it reminisces about its shipwrecks. ↗

— Joë Bousquet

#sea #surrealism #surreal

The imaginary is what tends to become real. ↗

— André Breton

#imaginattion #reality #surrealism #surreal

The clouds were disappearing rapidly, leaving the stars to die. The night dried up. ↗

— André Breton

#stars #surrealism #surreal

I wouldn’t really know too much about pressure. I stay away from it like snow in the Sahara. That reminds me, isn’t it funny how an adage might get lost in cultural translation? For instance, take the saying, “Don’t eat yellow snow.” Well, try telling that to a Bedouin who’s never left the desert and has never seen pictures of other climates. You might have to rephrase it to, “Never eat yellow sand,” which is sort of silly. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#desert #funny #humor #pressure #surreal

May night continue to fall upon the orchestra ↗

— André Breton

#orchestra #surrealism #surreal