#t

Everything is sweetened by risk. ↗

— Alexander Smith

#risk #sweetened

It’s a long shot, but this baby is pretty cool.” He pushed the button that brought up the menu. “I need to run a search.” “Of course, master,” the computer said with an inviting smile. “Which pornographic material should I seek out today?” Dante grinned. “Really? You can do that?” He felt Meg’s stare. “Nothing like that. ↗

— Sophie Oak

#funny #paranormal #perv #funny

To be occasionally quoted is the only fame I care for. ↗

— Alexander Smith

#fame #i #i care #occasionally #only

It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me. ↗

— Anna Nicole Smith

#i #me #terrible #things #very

I have been alone since my husband died. I stay in my home. I don't date. It's hard to date when you're at home. Nobody knows you. ↗

— Anna Nicole Smith

#been #date #died #hard #home

A brick and a blanket could be used as characters in a story full of clever dialogue, such as:
 Brick: I checked everywhere, and it’s not where I last left it. Did you touch my penis sandwich?
 Blanket: What? Eww no, why would I touch your penis sandwich?
 Brick: Well, would it make you more comfortable if I put on some condiments and rolled on a condom?
 Blanket: Dude, or lady, whatever you are. I’m not gay—or straight. I’m not even bisexual. I’m a blanket, and I’m asexual. I’m also not hungry now. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

One of the greatest gifts of Black feminism to ourselves has been to make it a little easier simply to be Black and female. ↗

— Barbara Smith

#black #easier #female #feminism #gifts

You can only paint through your experience and sub-consciousness. ↗

— Barbara Smith

#only #paint #through #you #your

No time to marry, no time to settle down; I'm a young woman, and I ain't done runnin' around. ↗

— Bessie Smith

#done #down #i #marry #settle

A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks. But we wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble if you’d just eat the bricks I put on your plate.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny