#t

If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#insanity #sanity #humor

Oh Tigger, where are your manners?" "I don’t know, but I bet they’re having more fun than I am. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#manners #pooh #tigger #humor

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #stupidity #humor

Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#h #humor

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#fate #humor #misfortune #top- #humor

Yuki: "What can I learn from a stupid cat like you? You didn’t even know that Jason isn’t really a bear. He’s a character in a horror film." Kyo: "Yeah? So what if I didn’t? Like I’d waste my time watching some movie about a bear!" Yuki: You truly are an idiot. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor

Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#h #humor

Dan was thrilled that the second clue had been safely smuggled out of the church in his pants. "So, really, I saved the day," he decided. "Wait a minute," Amy said, "I climbed onto the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm." "Yeah, but the clue was in my pants. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #dan #humor #the #humor

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#emotion #friendship #honesty #imagination #individuality

The au pair was bug-eyed. "What happened back there?" "It's not our fault!" Dan babbled. "Those guys are crazy! They're like mini-Darth Vaders without the mask!" "They're Benedictine monks!" Nellie exclaimed. "They're men of peace! Most of them are under vows of silence!" "Yeah, well, not anymore," Dan told her. "They cursed us out pretty good. I don't know the language, but some things you don't have to translate. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#cursing #dan-cahill #humor #nellie-gomez #the