#t

Here it comes," she said with an expression of pure bliss. "Drug rush ... any moment now ... the surge of warmth ... bye-bye, Mr. Pain..." "Vee-" "Knock, knock." "This is really important-" "Knock, knock." "It's about Elliot-" "Knock, knoooock," she said in a singsong voice. I sighed. "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Boo-hoo, somebody's crying, and it's not me!" She broke into hysterical laughter. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #nora-and-vee #nora-grey #vee-sky

Tod crossed his arms over his snug white T-shirt, silently giving me the floor. Fortunately, I was prepared. "Sabine ambushed me in the hall this morning and gave me a lecture on sex." Tod's brow's rose halfway to his hairline. "I hope you took notes... ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#kaylee-cavanaugh #notes #sabine-campbell #tod-hudson #funny

Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#dark-hunter #funny #nhumour #funny

You two were in a cave together?’ said Miss Simpkins in horror. ‘Yes,’ said Kate, ‘and it was very, very dark. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #kate #kenneth-oppel #matt #romance

I was in misery, and misery is the state of every soul overcome by friendship with mortal things and lacerated when they are lost. Then the soul becomes aware of the misery which is its actual condition even before it loses them. ↗

— Augustine of Hippo

#disillusionment #idolatry #friendship

Do you think they're going to buy that a guy in tacky leather chaps dances like this?" I scoffed when he twirled me back into his embrace. "Keep it up, and I'll put you in the chaps." He didn't smile, but I sensed an undercurrent of amusement. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #leather-chaps #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

Trent’s chest rises with a quick inhale as his hands lift to grab mine and pull them out, placing them with a pat on the outside of his shirt. “Okay, you win. But don’t do that while I’m driving or we’ll end up in a ditch.” He looks over his shoulder again, adding in a soft, solemn tone, “I’m serious, Kacey. I can’t handle it. ↗

— K.A. Tucker

#k-a-tucker #kacey-cleary #kacey-trent #ten-tiny-breaths #trent-emerson

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#gayle-forman #if-i-stay #lumberjack #quote #funny

I didn't really know what I wanted to do, and then I got this call from a casting director in Los Angeles. She remembered me from something years before, and she called my mom wanting me to audition for this thing. ↗

— Scott Speedman

#audition #before #call #called #casting

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #odd