#ted

Leo couldn't deliver Mr. Martin Scorsese his Oscar with 'The Aviator', but I will go on record to say I will do so in 'The Departed'. ↗

— Anthony Anderson

#deliver #departed #go #his #i

Sure, we thought the acres That we tilled were sacred, But how could we have known That wheat can haunt like ghosts ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#family-farm #poem #poetry #sherman-alexie #short-poems

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I am somebody's son, and I know a guy I call "Dad." Those two things are unrelated.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#family #father #funny #humor #related

I thought I was eating a candy bar, but it turned out to be a yummy burrito. I was both disappointed and appointed at the same time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#candy #disappointed #disappointment #eating #food

He who is contented is rich. ↗

— Lao Tzu

#rich #who

Hunger of the heart is much stronger than hunger for food. ↗

— Amanda Comer

#food #heart #hunger #longing #food

The Nationals tried hard to recover the lost ground. The final result, however, was the success of the Forest Citys by a score of 29 to 23 in a nine innings game, twice interrupted by rain. ↗

— Henry Chadwick

#forest #game #ground #hard #however

The majority of them give the impression of being men who have been drafted into the job during a period of martial law and are only waiting for the end of the emergency to get back to a really congenial occupation such as slum demolition or debt collecting. ↗

— Alan Brien

#been #being #collecting #congenial #debt