#thro

In an out-of-body experience, your astral projection comes down to gloat. In insanity, your mind goes to a nudist colony. In philanthropy, your soul ascends to purgatory. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #insanity #philanthropy #experience

Lord Snow wants to take my place now.' He sneered. 'I'd have an easier time teaching a wolf to juggle than you will training this aurochs.' 'I'll take that wager, Ser Alliser', Jon said. 'I'd love to see Ghost juggle. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-song-of-ice-and-fire #bold #george-r-r-martin #ghost #jon-snow

…in that moment, as he saw and smelled how irresistible its effect was and how with lightning speed it spread and made captives of the people all around him—in that moment his whole disgust for humankind rose up again within him and completely soured his triumph, so that he felt not only no joy, but not even the least bit of satisfaction. What he had always longed for—that other people should love him—became at the moment of his achievement unbearable, because he did not love them himself, he hated them. And suddenly he knew that he had never found gratification in love, but always only in hatred—in hating and in being hated. ↗

— Patrick Süskind

#hatred #misanthropy #perfume #perfumery #love

I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humour #misanthropy #humor

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-storm-of-swords #game-of-thrones #humor #humorous-quotes #jaime-lannister

I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I'm sympathetic, it usually means I haven't been around people in awhile. ↗

— John R. Lindensmith

#humor #misanthrope #social-commentary #humor

Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #kane #kane-chronicles #romance #sadie

Interviewer: Have you ever considered writing nonfiction? Mary Doria Russell: Oh, honey, I did! Let's see...There was "A Reconsideration of the Evidence for Cannibalism at the Krapina Neandertal Site." That was a big hit. And who could ever forget "Cutmarks on the Engis II Calvarium"? Then there was "Browridge Development as a Function of Bending Stress in the Supraorbital Region." I got tons of reprint requests for that one. Trust me fiction is better. ↗

— Mary Doria Russell

#humor #interviews #science #humor

Did you ever think about the creation of the flame-thrower? Someone, somewhere, at some time must have been sitting on his porch, and said, thoughtfully, 'I want to set him on fire.' gesturing to his neighbor. His friend who sat beside him and happened to be handy with tools said, 'I can do that.' Thus, we have a flame thrower. ↗

— John Larson

#humor #inventions #humor

In composing, as a general rule, run your pen through every other word you have written; you have no idea what vigor it will give your style. ↗

— Sydney Smith

#every #general #general rule #give #idea