#tin

It's a lot like a biology study date,' I told my reflection nonchalantly. 'Only... Without the biology and studying.' Biology study date... ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#dating

When certain parts of our bodies are touched, certain enzymes and chemicals that trigger sexual desire are released into our system. The more our bodies are stimulated, the more chemicals are released and the greater our sexual desire grows until it becomes a virtually unstoppable flood. ↗

— Myles Munroe

#sex #dating

The door creaked and I lifted my eyes to see Gee stick her head back inside. “It’s cal ed Valentine’s Day, you moron,” she announced. “If you’re going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays.” Gee gave me an exasperated look before closing the door once more. ↗

— Abbi Glines

#dating

A woman with super long platinum blonde hair, a fake tan, injected bubble gum pink lips, and a large boob job came in. Phoebe showed her where to set up in front of us and we all sat patiently. "Hello, I’m Tandy" I almost rolled my eyes at her name, given her appearance. She placed a case on the coffee table in front of us, opened it, and pulled out rubber penises. I almost shot my drink out of my nose, again. "I will be instructing you on proper blow job technique." "Oh my God, Phoebe." I shouted at her. "Yeah," Viola clapped her hands and reached out to be the first to get a rubber practice penis. ↗

— Sadie Grubor

#dating

Similarly, a Solo Date is an outing with yourself to satisfy some of your introvert cravings. And it is a delicious treat. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#dating

As an adult, I've met an ocean of divorced people. I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you're engaged it simply means you're publicly announcing that you are dating a person monogamishly. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#dating

Yemen produces coffee, Egypt cotton, Iraq dates, Palestine oranges, and Syria trouble. ↗

— John Gunther

#middle-east #syria #dating

...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health. ↗

— Mike Birbiglia

#dating #humor #dating

I went on a blind date—with a descendent of Helen Keller.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#date #dating #helen-keller #dating

Sydney's the kind of port that leaves a mark on a sailor," the old man mused. "Really?" Haakon said, wondering what the man meant. "It did on me," he said, opening up his shirt to display his chest. It was covered with tattoos! At the top, SYDNEY was printed in elaborate red and blue letters. Beneath that was an enticing selection of names and dates. "Mary, 1838...Adella, 1840..." The old sailor began laughing. "Beatrice, 1843...Helen, 1846." And then finally, "Mother." There was no date after "Mother." "Mothers you love forever," he said. Everybody laughed then, including Haakon, though the thought brought some sadness to his heart. He did love his mother forever, and he missed her as well. ↗

— Bonnie Bryant Hiller

#pirates #tattoos #dating