#to

Revenge of the Giant Grill Man. ↗

— Joan Bauer ("Hope Yancey")

#self-explanatory #funny

I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of the torture process. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #torture #funny

Very helpful, I must say. Look at them in the eye and shout, and they understand every word..." (Mr. Warbeck in Sienna, talking about local Italians.) ↗

— Hilary McKay

#tourist #family

I want your hand without the skin. Bone to bone without the molds. Mouth to mouth, without the porn. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#life #love #love-story #lover #lovers

People usually feel funny, smile and laugh when I tell them about my strong belief in the very existence of prehistoric advanced technology and great civilizations of wilier races. I just can't wait to see their faces at time the truth is revealed. ↗

— Toba Beta

#ancient #civilization #mystery #prehistoric #reveal

Hello, Martin. ↗

— William Sleator

#fat-lady #funny #martin #funny

Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation. ↗

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#approval #black-humor #disapproval #dishonesty #funny

Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#factories #funny #horses #humor #sales

Pearls' burst out the Snork Maiden excitedly. 'Could ankle rings be made out of pearls?' 'I should think they could,' said Moomintoll. 'Ankle-rings, and nose-rings and ear-rings and engagement rings... ↗

— Tove Jansson

#classics #cute #finnish #funny #moomins

It's so funny because I haven't set foot in a grocery store in years, you know. And that's so embarrassing...I kept going, 'What's this?' "First of all I had the cart and I was riding down the aisles standing on it. And there's nobody there but us. And we got in the checkout. And I'm seeing this square thing, and I'm like, "What's this you guys?" And Missy just looked at me. And they said, "That's so you can use your credit card." And I said, "You can use your credit cards in grocery stores now? ↗

— Janet Jackson

#funny