#ton

He would have shaved the centaurs, dipped them in honey, covered them with feathers, and hung them up like a bunch of pinatas. I'm just saying." - Warren ↗

— Brandon Mull

#centaurs #funny #humor #patton #warren

You look angry," he said. "You put me on hold." "For a very good reason." "You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #skeleton #valykrie #funny

This is an Aston Martin, Gin.You don't run over dead bodies in an Aston Matin." "Tell that to James Bond ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#comeback #funny #james-bond #web-of-lies #funny

The healing power of charity, bestowed by our Father and made possible by the Atonement of Jesus Christ, can make it virtually impossible for us even to feel emotions common to the natural man. ↗

— Sheri L. Dew

#charity #inspirational #lds #inspirational

Before I found Minerva, I'd passed nights with more than my share of women." Thorne groaned. Don't. Just don't. "I've passed time with duchesses and farm girls, and it doesn't matter whether their skirts are silk or homespun. Once you get them bare--" Thorne drew up short. "If you start in on rivers of silk and alabaster orbs, I will have to hit you. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#silver-tongued-devil #funny

[Tony] Pérez stood out because he was a clutch hitter. And like Bench and Morgan and Rose, it was a clutch October hit that immortalized him in baseball’s postseason lore. The powerful first baseman hit three home runs against Boston during the 1975 World Series, but none bigger than his blast against Bill Lee. ↗

— Tucker Elliot

#cincinnati-reds #tony-perez #home

Cleansing and clearing are two words which suit the essence of Imbolc, as this is February, the Roman month of purification. This can be a cleansing of the self, in undertaking a good ‘detox’, or a clearing and cleansing of the home, in keeping with the tradition of spring-cleaning. ↗

— Carole Carlton

#carole-carlton #imbolc #irish-celts #lughnasadh #moon-magic

Mrs. Pocket was at home, and was in a little difficulty, on account of the baby's having been accommodated with a needle case to keep him quiet during the unaccountable absence (with a relative in the Foot Guards) of Millers. And more needles were missing than it could be regarded as quite wholesome for a patient of such tender years either to apply externally or to take as a tonic. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#dickens #great-expectations #needle #tonic #home

Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#interview #nudge #platonic #radio #wink

People usually asked her if she had a belly button. Of course she had a belly button. She couldn't explain how. She didn't really want to know. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bellybutton #humor #humor