#ty

City people. They may know how to street fight but they don't know how to wade through manure. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#country #humor #rural-life #humor

His thoughts inhabit a different plane from those of ordinary men; the simplest interpretation of that is to call him crazy. ↗

— Juliet Marillier

#differences #humor #individuality #humor

Is this the reality you wanted? ↗

— Jonghyun

#jonghyun #k-pop #reality #shinee #humor

Does it help if we're so strong-willed, stubborn, ambitious, and selfish that we always overcome everything in our way no matter what?" asked Wang-mu. "I think those are the pertinent virtues, yes," said Peter. "Then let's do it. That's us in spades. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#personality #humor

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#crime #humor #immigration #politics #punishment

But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in the Church they don't think. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humorous #beauty

History is gossip that's been legitimized, and that's really the case when you get into some of the Roman historians. Wow! They'd be right at home on reality tv. ↗

— Esther M. Friesner

#humor #reality-tv #writing #humor

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#ass #braggart #bragging #humility #humor

All three combined is...a different kind of stupid formerly unheard of by humankind. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#stupidity #humor

It would be easier if they named jeans for celebrities so you'd know exactly what you were getting without even having to try them on. 'Mary-Kate' for itty-bitty jeans that come with a cartoonishly oversized caramel latte cup; 'Angelina Jolie' for jeans that are sold with two tiny Cambodian orphans stitched right into the back pockets; 'Katie Holmes', jeans which spell out 'help me!' in the fabric if you look very closesly; and 'Dina Lohan', self-promoting stage mom of Lindsay, for jeans that look OK from a distance, but when you get closer, are actually transparent. For men, there could be 'David Hasselhoff' jeans, made entirely of cheese, and 'John Mayer' jeans which, when removed, become instantly bored and walk themselves to to the house of next 'it' girl in Hollywood. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #humor