#u

Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#dark-hunter #funny #nhumour #funny

...Neferet fell smack on her butt. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#hon #funny

You two were in a cave together?’ said Miss Simpkins in horror. ‘Yes,’ said Kate, ‘and it was very, very dark. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #kate #kenneth-oppel #matt #romance

I was in misery, and misery is the state of every soul overcome by friendship with mortal things and lacerated when they are lost. Then the soul becomes aware of the misery which is its actual condition even before it loses them. ↗

— Augustine of Hippo

#disillusionment #idolatry #friendship

Every other girl in school thinks you're the hottest thing since the microwave. ↗

— Linda Kage

#humour #funny

Do you think they're going to buy that a guy in tacky leather chaps dances like this?" I scoffed when he twirled me back into his embrace. "Keep it up, and I'll put you in the chaps." He didn't smile, but I sensed an undercurrent of amusement. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #leather-chaps #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

Trent’s chest rises with a quick inhale as his hands lift to grab mine and pull them out, placing them with a pat on the outside of his shirt. “Okay, you win. But don’t do that while I’m driving or we’ll end up in a ditch.” He looks over his shoulder again, adding in a soft, solemn tone, “I’m serious, Kacey. I can’t handle it. ↗

— K.A. Tucker

#k-a-tucker #kacey-cleary #kacey-trent #ten-tiny-breaths #trent-emerson

A red eight-sided sign always means: A) Stop. B) Go. C) Danger! Red octogons ahead! ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#funny

Sometimes I just think depression’s one way of coping with the world. Like, some people get drunk, some people do drugs, some people get depressed. Because there’s so much stuff out there that you have to do something to deal with it. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#depression #funny

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#gayle-forman #if-i-stay #lumberjack #quote #funny