#u

So if my ability to meditate was what was going to save the world, or at least save Portland, then I was pretty sure we should all think about moving to Seattle. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

Fish," the old man said. "Fish, you are going to have to die anyway. Do you have to kill me too? ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#humor

As they walked into the living room, Trevor cleared his throat loudly. "We're coming in. Hands where I can see them, dicks where I can't. ↗

— Katie Allen

#m-m-romance #humor

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. ↗

— Fred Allen

#humor

It's very good of you--" "No, no, not at all. It's my hobby. Not proposing to people, I don't mean, but investigating things. Well, cheer-frightfully-ho and all that. And I'll call again, if I may." "I will give the footman orders to admit you," said the prisoner, gravely, "you will always find me at home. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#gallows-humor #prisoner #proposal #humor

It's an ancient and honorable term for the final step in any engineering project. Turn it on, see if it smokes. ↗

— Lois McMaster Bujold

#humor

A wise man once said that any human being is capable of infinite achievement, so long as it’s not the work they’re supposed to be doing. ↗

— K.J. Parker

#humor #humor

I gaped at what I saw next. She yanked his arm off and ate it. Gross! I knew she was hungry, but that was just...well, against the school rules for one thing. ↗

— Imogen Rose

#paranormal #humor

The cat arrived with a bottle of Scotch. ↗

— Christopher S. Wren

#humor #whiskey #humor

He sees me when I'm lying. He hears me when I flirt. ↗

— Candace Jane Kringle

#humor #teen-romance #humor