#u

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. ↗

— Dave Barry

#circumstances #never #night #pill #same

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. ↗

— Dave Barry

#always #miles #opportunity #prevailing #rain

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. ↗

— Dave Barry

#am #faces #fact #feel #happy

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. ↗

— Dave Barry

#auto #boring #down #except #going

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. ↗

— Dave Barry

#child #dracula #example #for example #i

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps. ↗

— Dave Barry

#american #any #apparently #had #high

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#just #like #love #made #new

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. ↗

— Dave Barry

#catch #count #did #increasing #metric

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat. ↗

— Dave Barry

#chat #future #internet #shaping #society

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. ↗

— Dave Barry

#crew #currently #go #hate #i