#u

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. ↗

— Steven Wright

#breakfast #during #french #i #ordered

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. ↗

— Steven Wright

#afraid #heights #i #lot #me

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. ↗

— Steven Wright

#book #done #got #i #numbers

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious! ↗

— Steven Wright

#apartment #furious #i #installed #live

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. ↗

— Steven Wright

#making #penny #put #someone #somewhere

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ↗

— Steven Wright

#died #four #full #got #house

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#here #i #map #over #over it

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ↗

— Steven Wright

#about #dictionary #everything #i #poem

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out. ↗

— Steven Wright

#call #car #home #i #leave

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. ↗

— Steven Wright

#grow #happen #how #i #i wonder