#um

A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what I mean. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and maybe, in a Triangle of Truth where there is no is, and there is no isn’t.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Teamwork is me helping you build a brick wall that will come between us and forever divide us. Division through unity.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a hammer, which frees up the hammer to be used as a sex toy. The only question is, Which end will you insert? If you’re a politician, I’d recommend the one with the hooks.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out.” Oh, please no. Anything except having to listen to her lecture. I push the button that calls the nurse. “Can we help you, Alex?” a voice bellows through the speaker. “I’m bein’ tortured. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. ↗

— Zane Stumpo

#funny #humor #humour #wit #witty

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, ↗

— Steven Pinker

#humor #humorous-quotations #funny

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another. ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#ball #formal #funny #hair #high-school

Boys, welcome to the wonderful world of talking to women about their feelings. As a handy primer, here are a few things you should know: 1) Women have feelings. 2) You will spend the next seventy years or so trying to guess what they're feeling and why. 3) You will be wrong most of the time. 4) I like French Fries. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #funny