#um

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #netherworld #humor

Please tell me you're Republicans. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#republican #humor

Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.” Sophie + Archer ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

God is even in a single parent household. ↗

— Karen Salmansohn

#relationships #humor

Isn't that just like a man. 450-fucking-years-old and he's still thinking with his balls! ↗

— Tanya Huff

#humor

The more obscure our tastes, the greater the proof of our genius. ↗

— Jennifer Donnelly

#humor #taste #humor

You couldn't hurt a fly." Actually I was pretty good at pinging flies right out of the air, but I tried to look appropriately harmless. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#josh-lanyon #humor

Then the high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing. Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the boy’s ass fell off. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#humor #joke #humor

I need a sample of your blood,' said Kira. Marcus raised an eyebrow. 'I didn't know we'd reached that stage of our relationship. ↗

— Dan Wells

#humor

Born at Midnight - “Personally for me, wearing a thong is like flossing your ass ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humor