#um

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it... ↗

— P.J. O'Rourke

#government #humor #politics #republicans #humor

I feel like a brand new bitch. ↗

— Amelia Gray

#humor #humor

No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#computer-hackers #computers #funny #geek #geek-humor

That's great. Except for the fact that it's completely unimportant. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #humor

Miro, I'm so sorry. I always felt such pity for you humans because you could only think of one thing at a time and your memories were so imperfect and . . . now I realize that just getting through the day without killing somebody can be an achievement." It gets to be a habit. Most of us manage to keep our body count quite low. It's the neighborly way to live. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#patience #relationships #humor

Of all the secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood the most divine was humor. ↗

— Rebecca Wells

#humor

Hell, I suppose if you stick around long enough they have to say something nice about you. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#critics #humor #humor

It [soccer] would be much more interesting if every so often, the ball spontaneously exploded. ↗

— Michelle Madow

#humor

Living is about clucking your tongue and enjoying the sound. ~Slater ↗