#um

A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape, an empty car trunk, a getaway driver, and the most opportune moment to snatch your mother-in-law away to never be seen or heard from again. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#humor #marriage #women-s-strength #marriage

Novels are written word by word. If you can write a word, and then another word, you can write a novel—assuming your novel will be two words long. Here’s a two-word romance novel: I do. It’s also a murder mystery.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #marriage #murder #murder-mystery #mystery

The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. Man is unbelievably slow, inaccurate, and brilliant. The marriage of the two is a force beyond calculation. ↗

— Muhammad Waseem

#computerm-marriage #human #poetry #marriage

Aren't all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what you're saying is 'I will never touch another woman as long as I live, now let's put jewellery on each other and dance ↗

— Jimmy Kimmel

#humour #marriage #marriage

When you meet a man who is broken, pick him up and carry him. When you meet a woman who’s broken, put her all into your arms. Cause we don’t know where we come from … we don’t know where we are. ↗

— Laurie Anderson

#identity #men #women #men

True humility does not know that it is humble. If it did, it would be proud from the contemplation of so fine a virtue. ↗

— Martin Luther

#virtue

Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich. ↗

— Habeeb Akande

#funny #humour #male-female-relationships #marriage #relationships

Wise men are not pacifists; they are merely less likely to jump up and retaliate against their antagonizers. They know that needless antagonizers are virtually already insecure enough. ↗

— Criss Jami

#antagonistic #discernment #foolishness #insecure #insecurity

Strange, isn't it,' mused Glokta as he watched him struggle for air. 'Big men, small men, thin men, fat men, clever men, stupid men, they all respond the same to a fist in the guts. One minute you think you're the most powerful man in the world. The next you can't even breathe by yourself. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#torture #men