#us

Zane wondered if Ty was a mama‟s boy. He tipped his head to the side, watching them as he picked out a piece of warm bread, and thought maybe so. Not that he would ever voice that opinion to Ty until he was good and ready to die. ↗

— Madeleine Urban Abigail Roux

#humor

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

I did what I have been told to do by my queen. In so doing, I fell into a trap I couldn't escape. I still can't." "The trap of LUUUUVVVV, I thought sarcastically. But he was too serious, too calm, to mock. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #sookie-stackhouse #humor

Kinzie smiled smugly. “You admire our base of operations? Yes, our distribution system is worldwide. It took many years and most of our fortune to build. Now, finally, we’re turning a profit. The mortals don’t realize they are funding the Amazon kingdom. Soon, we’ll be richer than any mortal nation. Then—when the weak mortals depend on us for everything—the revolution will begin!” “What are you going to do?” Frank grumbled. “Cancel free shipping? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#amazons #frank-zhang #humor #kinzie #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership. ↗

— Julio-Alexi Genao

#humorous #monday #mondays #humor

I couldn't exactly blame Jane Austen for being a romantic. What the hell else was there to do back then for fun? ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #jane-austen #olden-days #humor

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorist #humorous-quotations #humourous #humor

I'm an orphan!" Constance cried gleefully. "I'm an orphan!" ~ The Prisoner's Dilemma ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#the-mysterious-benedict-society #humor

Genna: “My straw has a hole in it!” Tim: *gives her a Really? look* Genna: “One that it’s not meant to have! ↗

— Timmothy Radman

#misunderstanding #obvious #straw #humor

Steampunk is nothing more than what happens when Goths discover brown. ↗

— Charles Stross

#humorous #humor