#us

You can't beat me. I have the mind of a warlock with adonis DNA. Winning! ↗

— Charlie Sheen

#humor

I vill destroy de snickers bar!" Gazzy(The Gas Man) ↗

— James Patterson

#humor

As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#wodehouse #humor

The school made it very clear that women were entitled to positions of authority. That sense of entitlement allowed us to feel that we have a natural place in leadership in the world. That gave me a mental and emotional confidence. ↗

— Linda Vester

#authority #clear #confidence #emotional #entitled

Don''t headbutt the sun, idiot. ↗

— Wheezywaiter

#obvious #ridiculous #humor

Still trying to save the world?” “Always,” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#save-the-world #humor

To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles. ↗

— T.F. Hodge

#determination #focus #frustration #goals #obstacles

Today I feel like I did tomorrow. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comedy-humor #humor #humorist #humorous #humorous-quotes

Oh good Lord. She definitely hadn't put on enough deodorant for this. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

Are you by any chance acquainted with the words 'steel toe'? Or do the words 'permanent dent' mean anything to you?" My locker door is not intimidated. "My grandfather was a vault at Fort Knox, and if you try to dent me with a kick you will only tear some ligament that will never mend. ↗

— David Klass

#humor