#v

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#brain #deleted #everything #i #island

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#been #before #dad #did #even

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#redneck #sits #television #top #working

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#ever #experiences #family #first #first time

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#home #just #might #own #redneck

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#big #channel #clock #discovery #father-in-law

It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here. ↗

— Kirstie Alley

#chances #close #comedic #eternity #existance

I love comedy. God has given me this platform. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#given #god #i #i love #love

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#away #because #day #does #e-mail

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#because #daughter #down #four #giving