#v

You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are ↗

— J.R. Ward

#brothers #humor #love #rhage #humor

First rule of cleavage: it's not how low you go, but where and when you show. ↗

— Elisabeth Squires

#cleavage #elisabeth-dale #humor #style #women

Positive belief in yourself will give you the energy needed to conquer the world and this belief is the power behind all creation. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money #motivational #new-age

And Mega has a crush on Chester." "I do not!" "Do too, Mega." "He's like, old!" "How old, Christian says." "Like at least thirty or something." Lor laughs. " Fucking ancient, ain't it, kid?" "Dude," I agree. I like Lor. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dani #humor #lor #humor

I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?" It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grocery-store #humor #paper-or-plastic #funny

I remembered my little brother, Allyn, had appeared so innocent and angelic when he slept--similar to Kerrick. It must be a survival tactic. If Allyn hadn't looked so sweet, we would have killed him while he slept. He had been pure evil when he was awake--similar to Kerrick. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#appearances #brothers #humor #innocence #sleep

Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. “Have we been introduced?” “Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?” “You’re not my type, darling. Is this one yours?” “No,” Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. “Let’s say she’s a friend of the family. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

Baravetto was unconscious when we found him," Hi said. "What'd you do to the guy?" "Kicked him in the balls, then brained him with a rolling pin. Twice. ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#virals #humor

The love scenes that worked, regardless of the director, were the ones where the actors weren't fearful. When somebody was fearful, you could see it right away. It takes you out of the story, and that's to be avoided at all costs. ↗

— Jennifer Beals

#away #costs #could #director #fearful

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about). ↗

— Brian P. Cleary

#humor #observational-comedy #observations #humor