#v

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. ↗

— Lou Holtz

#complaining #remaining-silent #problems

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #joke #mummies #sarcasm #vampire

It wouldn't be my move," Jace agreed. "First the candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#valentine #city

If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher. ↗

— Debbie Macomber

#miracles

Value your freedom or you will lose it, teaches history. 'Don't bother us with politics', respond those who don't want to learn. ↗

— Richard Stallman

#freedom #history #learn #lose #politics

Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it into the classroom. And now, while the analogy sinks in, I will be leaving you drips and going outside... ↗

— Bill Watterson

#miracle #snowflake #nature

Well, I suppose I could follow his advice. Are you hungry?” “Surprisingly enough, not at the moment.” “Will miracles never cease?” “Ha,” I said ↗

— Chloe Neill

#merit #twice-bitten #miracles

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#bad-reviews #book #humorist #wit #bad

I knew you were a badass," continued Adrian. "But I didn't realize just how much until I saw you dropping guardians out there." "Does that mean you're going to be nicer to me?" I teased. "I'm already nice to you," he said loftily. "Do you know how badly I want a cigarette right now? But no. I manfully suffer through nicotine withdrawal—all for you. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#nicotine-withdrawal #quitting-smoking #rose-hathaway #bad

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#fancy #raisins #terrible #wordplay #bad