#v

Curse you, cheap beer. Must find miso in tiny packet. ↗

— MCM

#hangover #humor #malediction #humor

I want to take ye to bed. In my bed. And I mean to spend the rest of the day thinking what to do wit ye once I got ye there. So wee Archie can just go and play at marbles with his bollucks, aye? ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#love #romance #humor

Conscience is like a pet: If you spoil it by too much attention it'll start yipping at the most inopportune times. ↗

— Connie Brockway

#conscience #humor #humor

I am a conservative. It’s like being a preservative, but with a backwards shelf life. I conserve the values of the past, and I keep them there so I can behave liberally now . ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #liberal #funny

The tyranny of public opinion (and what an opinion!) is as fatuous in the small towns of France as it is in the United States of America. ↗

— Stendhal

#humor #mob-mentality #peer-pressure #humor

She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy. ↗

— Patrick Major Dallas OR

#dogs #gun #humor #husky #metaphor

Pelos ossos de Deus, Tom, o diabo fez um serviço ruim quando trepou com sua mãe. ↗

— Bernard Cornwell

#humor #humor

When she got back from taking Cassie to school Fancy knew that she ought to be working on her wilderness romance. She had promised thirty thousand words to her editor by tomorrow, and she had only written eleven. Specifically: His rhinoceros smelled like a poppadom: sweaty, salty, strange and strong. Her editor would cut that line. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#humor #romance-novel #writers #writers-block #humor

Because sometimes in life, Ken didn't always choose Barbie. (Jane Alcott) ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance-novels #see-jane-score #humor

You know, most men would get discouraged by now. Fortunately for you, I am not most men! ↗

— PePe Le Pew

#love #perseverance #humor