#vampire

Also, vampires don't eat food. You never get to eat chocolate again. Ever. I'd rather die. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#human #vampire #food

Henry held up his taco- formerly Vlad's- and grinned. " Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius." pg248 Henry to Vlad & Joss ↗

— Heather Brewer

#henry #humor #joss #tacos #vampire

I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I have done no wrong according to my kind. I never meant to turn you. I just wanted to have a little fun with you before they took you away. ↗

— Melika Dannese Lux

#eric-bradburry #melika-dannese-lux #sorina-boroi #vampires #vampiric-laws

And without forgiveness, there is never any peace. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #peace #forgiveness

I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss. ↗

— Stephen King

#gross #vampire #funny

I never meant it," he was saying. "Never meant it to happen. Can't stand it, seeing her suffer. Must do something, do something... What do I do? What can I do...? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

How is Eric?' 'Very tightly wound. Plus, a lot of stuff happened that he'll tell you about.' 'Thanks for the warning. I'll go to the house now. You're my favorite breather.' 'Oh. Well ... great.' She hung up. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#pam #sookie-stackhouse #vampires #family

This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us. ↗

— Jim Benton

#funny #maniac #psycho #running #vampire

We're clear," she said. "You're kind of a psycho. I get that ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #morganville-vampires #funny

Being the evil undead wasn't fun anymore. For one thing, it was increasingly hard to get a library card. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#vampires #humor