#vampire

This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us. ↗

— Jim Benton

#funny #maniac #psycho #running #vampire

We're clear," she said. "You're kind of a psycho. I get that ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #morganville-vampires #funny

Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. “Have we been introduced?” “Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?” “You’re not my type, darling. Is this one yours?” “No,” Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. “Let’s say she’s a friend of the family. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

With great hotness comes great responsibility. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#spiderman #vampires #humor

The Lone Ranger of vampires. Did that make me Tonto? ↗

— Robin McKinley

#lone-ranger #vampires #humor

I'll just stay ten feet away from him at all times so I don't accidentally trip and fall and land lips first on his mouth. ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#lust #vampire #humor

Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of repressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It's not tearing your throats out that doesn't come easily to me. Please don't make it any harder. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #vampires #humor

I took a deep breath and sighed in awe. My proverbial penis had just gotten a serious chubby. ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor

The rarity of what you hold is more powerful than you can imagine. It is a gift for humanity and the most lethal curse to the vampires. ↗

— Lindsay J. Pryor

#paranormal-romance #pnr #serryn #urban-fantasy #vampire

Forever is a really long time, you know? What do you do with forever?" "The same thing you do when you don't have forever." He smiled wanly. "Live. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#ezra #forever #inspirational #my-blood-approves #vampires