#vampires

I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want to be all sexy, too. And trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy. ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #vampires #humor

I touched the small sacred images. I shook my head and bit my lip, as if to say, How awful that he should have stolen these! But I also found it very funny. And further proof that God had no power over me. ↗

— Anne Rice

#religion #vampires #funny

So why are you so mad at me for kissing you?” “Because you took too long. If you'd done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn't have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#romance-funny #romantic #ushers #vampires #werewolves

Huging my pillow to my chest, I told myself, At least soon you won't have so much time to miss him. Soon school will start again, and then you'll be busier. Wait. Am I reduced to HOPING for school to start? Somehow, I have discovered a whole new level of pathetic. ↗

— Claudia Gray

#humor #stargazer #vampires #humor

You okay?" "Fine." "Your heart's beating really fast." "Gee, thanks. That's very comforting that you can hear it." He smiled, and it was the old Michael, the one she'd first met before all the vamp stuff. "Yeah, I know it is. Sorry. Just stay behind me if there's trouble." "You sound like Shane." "Well, he did say he'd kill me if I got you hurt. I'm just looking after my own neck." "Liar. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

This college would probably have the same problem as the last one did." I frowned, "What's that?" "Homework. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #rose #spirit-bound #vampire-academy #vampires

See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!" "Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #morganville-vampires #shane-collins #humor

Jealous?" "Maybe." "No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#vampires #love

Alice! You know I love you like a sister!" "Words." she growled. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#bella-swan #humor #love #twilight #vampires

You’re fearless.” Draven laughed loudly and shook his head. Zarah frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “No, I’m not. Trust me. I’m scared all the time. You scare the living hell out of me.” Her jaw dropped. “I scare you?” “Anyone who isn’t scared of you is insane. ↗

— Pixie Lynn Whitfield

#paranormal #romance #vampires #vampire-romance