#w

Madame Bellwings, Memoir Elf Coordinator, was not at all pleased with this request, because elves who write the memoirs of teenage girls have the habit of returning to the magical realm with atrocious grammar. They can't seem to shake the phrases "watever" and "no way," and they insert the word like into so many sentences that the other elves start slapping them...and for no apparent reason occasionally call out the name Edward Cullen. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#twilight #humor

On the morning in question, she wore white shorts and a pink T-shirt that featured a green dragon breathing a fire of orange glitter. It is difficult to explain how awesome I found this T-shirt at the time. ↗

— John Green

#papertowns #humor

Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician. ↗

— Eugène Ionesco

#writer #humor

Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing." "You can't! You're the stable one!" Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn't worried in the slightest. "Just relax. Go and run a bath or have a shot of brandy." "Okay." "That second bit was a joke. We both know you can't hold your liquor. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#humor #xavier-woods #humor

Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight and dies, because it couldn’t get out of bed until four in the afternoon? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #pathetic #sunlight #funny

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#irish #song #war #humor

It's a well-known fact. All women are clinically insane, but especially ballet dancers. Psycho. extremely psycho. Trust me. ↗

— Marisa de los Santos

#humor

Knowledge that is acquired is not like this. Those who have it worry if audiences like it or not. It's a bait for popularity. Disputational knowing wants customers. It has no soul... The only real customer is God. Chew quietly your sweet sugarcane God-Love, and stay playfully childish. ↗

— Rumi

#wisdom #love

She could not admit but that he had remarkable qualities, sometimes she thought that there was even in him a strange and unattractive greatness; it was curious then that she could not love him, but loved still a man whose worthlessness was now so clear to her. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#worth #love

Rise, Luthiel, in the name of love you came and in the name of love I crown you! ↗

— Robert Fanney

#fantasy #love #luthiel #love