#w

Jem gave her a wistful look. “Must you go? I was rather hoping that you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must.” “I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.” “None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the pillow. “How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared it to gazing at the radiance of the sun.” Jem still had his eyes closed. “If they mean that it gives you a headache, they aren’t wrong. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #jem-carstairs #will-herondale #friendship

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fish-tank #funny #nonsense #pacifism #funny

One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #piggyback #piggyback-rides #funny

Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing. ↗

— Salvador Dali

#imitate #nothing #produce #those #want

Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything. ↗

— Gustave Flaubert

#anything #artists #attain #cannot #everything

Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley. ↗

— Sun Tzu

#sun-tzu #art

Google “brooklyn writer” and you’ll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it? ↗

— Colson Whitehead

#brooklyn #funny #writers #funny

I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #smile #wink #funny

I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #insurance #on-quotes #oscar-wilde #quote

I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#considerate #funny #humor #jarod-kintz #mail